Company

I love having company, especially my mom. Unlike 99% of Middle Tennessee my family does not live "in town", my family does not even live in state. Most of our family is in Texas, so company usually means a visit from family. I enjoy the break in the routine. When my mom comes we usually don't do anything out of the ordinary, I just enjoy her company as we grocery shop, run errands, etc. She helps with meals and even does little chores around the house. I know she will be ready to go home on Sunday (she will have been gone for two weeks, one week at a convention, the other with us), but it sure is nice having her here.

Uncertainty

Life is full of uncertainty. It is a time worn cliche, but oh so true. There are the uncertainties that creep up on us, and there are the ones that stare us in the face. The creepers, are easier for me than those that stare at me. I get very impatient with the ones staring me in the face. Often I feel like shouting "just resolve already!" I do better when I just relax, and hand it all over to God, but many times that is easier said than done. I also have a tendency to hand it over to God, but snatch it right back so I can "think on it", aka perseverate on it, some more. I am beginning to realize, and maybe even accept, that it does not matter how much I "think on it", things will only resolve it God's time, not mine. So today, I am praying for God to resolve my current uncertainty, and for me to accept his time frame. It sounds so easy when I write it out.

When I was house hunting in Brentwood, for the third time, by myself, one of my kids (who was 12 at the time), sent me a song in an email. The words to the song are from Philipians 4
"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19
It is no less true today. As this week's uncertainty stares me in the face, I think it is time to perseverate on this verse, in place of my own desire for resolution.

Cleaning House

We have company coming this week. I enjoy having company, especially my mom, who is the company coming this week. We have had a busy week, with activities, illness, etc. I have not spent much time cleaning. I have the major stuff done, clean sheets on the guest bed, I'll clean the bathroom later today, maybe even vacuum the family room. You know what? My mom isn't coming to see how clean my house is. She is coming to spend time with me and my family. Many years ago a good friend pointed out something very important to me. She asked me "Lezlae, do you want Celeste running around cleaning like crazy every time you visit her when she is grown?" I have thought about this often. It's a good reminder that we are always teaching.

Spring?

This week's weather has been glorious. After weeks of gray, cold, even snowy weather it has been warm, sunny and beautiful the last few days. This morning there is a symphony of birdsong outside. It feels like spring. Spring, the season of renewal, the season of hope. Here in Middle Tn it is a season of color. I am sure we have a few days or even weeks of chilly temperatures ahead, but right now it feels like SPRING.

¹¹For, lo, the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone;
¹²The flowers appear on the earth;
the time of the singing of birds is come
Song of Solomon 2:1-12

Motivation

I need to get moving this morning. I need to make a grocery run, get the guest room ready, write a swim practice for today, exercise. It's one of those days. Nothing is that grueling, nothing is overwhelming, its just that some days the sum of the whole is uninspiring. We've all been here before, will probably be here again. So right now I'm drinking another cup of coffee (with some cookies for breakfast) thinking about how to tackle the day. Just writing it out makes me laugh a little. I mean, good grief, get over it girl. Here in a few minutes I'll get going, and at the end of the day I'll actually have a sense of accomplishment (especially if I get all of it done), but for this moment, I think I'll just drink my coffee and listen to the birds outside my window for a few more moments.


As an update from an earlier post, PM has the flu. The campus clinic gave him some meds and he is recovering, slowly.

Cookies for Breakfast

This morning I had cookies for breakfast. This always makes me feel a tiny bit guilty, but it also makes me smile. I baked oatmeal, white chocolate chip, craisin cookies yesterday for Valentine's day. They are excellent with coffee for breakfast. There is an old Bill Cosby skit where he justifies feeding his kids chocolate cake for breakfast. He tells his wife "it has eggs, milk, butter, that's what we eat for breakfast anyway." I can especially do this with cookies. Oatmeal, fruit, eggs, sounds like breakfast to me. There is no profound analogy here. Just a moment to stop and enjoy the simple things in life...like cookies for breakfast.

Far Away

Some days I do not like living 14 hours away from College Station, TX. Today is one of those days. PM loves A&M, and so do I. I enjoyed my years there immensely. I am loving seeing him flourish there and enjoy many of the same things I did. Today my college kid is sick. He is running a fever and has a headache. Today I wish I could run over and check on him. Make sure he is okay, and be a mother to him.

Probably would not feel as strongly about this, but last Friday a student at the university died from meningitis. So now I sit and wait to hear from him, while he goes to the health clinic for a screening. Saying some prayers, trying to let go, and wishing I was not quite so far away.

Coaching

I love coaching. I always have. I started coaching a little over ten years ago. The first team I coached was one of PM's basketball teams. We had signed up to play YMCA basketball. We were assigned a team, and had our first team meeting. At that team meeting parents were informed that we would have to decide among ourselves who would be the coach for this bunch of 5-6 year old boys. I being the only parent with actual basketball experience (I played in high school), and a willingness to take it on became the coach. We had a pretty good season, and I learned many things that first year. One of the things I remember the most was a coach from one of the teams teaching me that winning is not nearly as important as letting every player on the team score a basket during the season. When you are 5 or 6, scoring a basket makes a big impression.


Through the years I have coached or helped coach many teams. Mainly basketball, a few soccer (very early on), and currently swimming. Swimming? Yeah, swimming. I never swam in high school. The most I did was a few years of summer league. My qualifications as a swim coach again stemmed from filling a need for a warm body to step up and help out. PM swam competitively from age 9 to 18. If you have a swimmer you know that's a lot of hours at the pool.


I started helping out on deck three years ago. I love it. I love watching swimmers work to achieve their personal goals. The kids we train (I am an assistant coach) are not year 'round swimmers. They swim three days a week. This is not much by swimming standards. I love wet hugs or high fives from swimmers who have just achieved a cut they were striving for. I like seeing the nervous energy behind the starting blocks translated into a swim they didn't know they were capable of. I enjoy the smiles and joy of a relay team that has just realized they have made it back to swim in finals for the very first time. There are also disappointments, and helping swimmers to learn to deal with those is part of it too.


We are headed out to the high school state championship swim meet today. It is the first time I have gone anywhere coaching without one of my own kids participating. I am actually looking forward to it. I will be able to go, and just coach. It should be an interesting experience.

Snow

Snow is in the forecast, again. I love snow. It's pretty, somewhat peaceful, and here in Middle Tennessee it doesn't usually last very long. We have had snow here almost every week since Christmas. I still think its pretty, but this week I could do without it. The swim team I help coach is headed to Knoxville for the state championship meet tomorrow. We are scheduled to warm up at the UT pool at 6 pm tomorrow night. In order to do that we will have to travel across the Cumberland Plateau, one of the areas forecast for the greatest snow accumulation. Ugh. I love snow, when I don't have to travel 150 miles in it.

Burdens

The last few weeks have been full of ups and downs (as most weeks in everyone's lives are!) There have been a few especially rough days. I am incredibly thankful for friends willing to share what burdens my heart, in prayer. I am also learning to truly turn things over to God. I am finding freedom in acknowledging that I cannot always control circumstances around me, or the people around me. I can turn my cares and burdens over to Christ and live a life of joy through difficult days. I tend to have an innately positive outlook. When I get bogged down, I REALLY get bogged down. I function so much better when I allow God to take it all, and enjoy the here and now. He is showing me that trusting in Him is so much better than trying to "fix" it myself.

In the days and weeks ahead, I am sure that I will forget this from time to time. Isn't it good to know that He knows this about us. He is always there to take our burdens, we have only to hand them over. A long time ago I heard a radio devotional. It had a great impact. Whenever I think of it I am instantly back in that car, in that moment hearing the words. I don't remember the exact phrasing but it was something like this:

"Good Morning, this is God. Thank you for bringing your problems and cares to me. I will take care of them for you. No, I really don't need your help."

This is a message I need to hear occasionally. When I hand my problems over to God, they are his. I need to let them go and live the joy of a life of freedom in Christ. The first verse to the worship song "Here in this Place" has been running through my head all morning. The words are:
Lay your burden down
Every care you carry,
And come to the table of grace,
For there is mercy.
Come just as you are,
We are all unworthy
To enter the presence of God
For He is holy.

The chorus is viewed as refering to church, but as I read over it, I think it is our hearts, not church:
Lift up your heart, lift up your hands,
Fall on your knees and pray;
For the King of kings and the love He brings
Is here in this place.
We raise our voices, raise our song,
We offer Him our praise;
For the King of kings and the joy He brings
Is here, He is here in this place.

May he be in your heart today!